It's that time of the year again... The time of the year where people make new years resolutions they'll never keep, plan things they know they can't do and make promises they can't carry through.
I've been planning my new years resolutions since the beginning of December. I'm actually quite proud of myself. I managed to keep a New Year's resolution from last year! I mean.. Wow x) Ok, it was only that I needed to drink more water, but hey.. its a habit now! I even got into the habit of making my bed! Since last year!! Be proud of me!

Anyway, here I go, jumping on the NYRB (New Years Resolutions Bandwagon)!

-- Whenever somebody asks me where I'm from, I will say that I'm really an extraterrestrial looking for a new planet to invade. So far, planet Earth is looking promising enough for the plans to go through in 2012 (calling to mother ship...!).

-- I don't want to be skinny, I'm long past wanting to look like Barbie. However, it would be nice to be fit/shapely. Lets see if I can achieve that this year

-- I've been through many character changes THIS year, some good, some bad. I'm going to focus on being nicer to people who irritate me this year. Maybe they were only having a bad day, after all.

-- I always say how everyone else is lucky because of their beautiful surroundings, and how boring and dreary it is to live in the city with no greenery around me. I have realized a few times this year that if I only open my eyes, there are beautiful things around me, too. I'm going to pay more attention to the beautiful things around me.

-- "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become." (<= One of my favorite quotes, maybe I'll see how I can put that to use this year).

-- I *will* get a job this year. If it kills me. Wait.. No, not if it kills me.. Because then I won't have a job... AAAAH!

-- I plan on writing this year. I doubt very much that I'll finish my book, but I *will* work on it (yes Lisa, you'll get to see it XD).

-- I will not procrastinate!! *procrastinates posting blog entry because she's sure she can come up with more resolutions*.. I mean.. OOPS?!

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this picture was my modeling. Although by no means is this a complete scenario of how it is "behind the scenes", i quickly put this together. Maybe one day I'll write about what it's REALLY like behind the scenes of a modeling shoot/acting shoot. =)

Behind the Scenes

FLASH!! The blinding light went off for the hundreth time. The man behind the camera looked up and sighed "Myra, suck that stomach in, lift your face and keep your position! And when you smile, don't show your gums! How many times do I have to tell you?". The tall, gangly man dressed all in plaid bustled over to the model to re-arrange her for the next photo, just like a rag doll.
Myra felt so uncomfortable, her legs and arms at awkward angles, her back aching, she felt like a contortionist.

"Models don't feel pain or discomfort, they never get cold or hot and are never hungry" Myra repeated these words over and over in her head. They were the words her agent had told her to keep in mind. "If you don't remember these rules, there is no chance you'll ever be successful."

FLASH!! FLASH!! FLASH!! "Myra..." The voice came to her again. Quickly fixing her smile and position, she looked at the cameraman. "Lunch. I'm starving! You..." the camera man pointed vaguely in the direction of the makeup artist "Camille.. Re-do her makeup while i take a sip of coffee, will you?" He winked and walked off.

Myra un-twisted herself and massaged her own shoulders. Camille looked at her pitifully "Jordan is being a bit harsh today, isn't he? But you have talent girl... He wouldn't push you so hard if you didn't!" Myra sighed "Camille, I'm starving.. Do you think I could get a bite to eat before you do my makeup again? "Of course girl, go ahead!" They smiled at each other. The team had been together all weekend working hard.
Bodies bustled around and there was much chatter. Myra walked over to the food table and was about to reach for a slice of cake when she reconsidered. So many calories! She looked down at her flat stomach and pondered a while, then picked up an apple and walked away.

There were many people at the 'shoot', but Myra was the main model. The others were "human props" just something to make the background look busy. This job would pay well. She finished her apple and went back over to Camille to get her makeup re-done, then she rushed over to the wardrobe to get the lady there to give her her new outfit and put it on. Glancing in the mirror, she brushed her hair again and glared at the reflection of the clothing.. How could people WEAR that?! She felt like a duck. A grey duck. She even had the yellow boots on to match.

Back to the 'shoot'... It was now 5pm, and she knew she wouldn't get off till about 7am. All in a days work, she thought. Next week will be the same.


Every Sunday Writers Block puts up an image to inspire us. Do stop by there!

I don't know about other people who write poetry, but I know that when I write, it comes from the very core of my soul. My writing usually has something to do with whatever it is I'm going through at the time, or maybe with what I'm feeling, or what I think other people may be feeling towards something that happened.

I'm at my most creative when I'm depressed. Kinda sad, huh? When I'm depressed, it's almost as though I can neatly funnel my depression onto paper. My fingers and the words on the paper create a life of their own, it's almost as if someone/something can magically conjur up what I'm feeling into words and pour them onto paper, arranging them 'just so'.

It's a vicious cycle, the poets dancing with the words in their mind, feelings only kindling the fire inside. Once you start writing, you can't stop. If you write once, you crave it again and again, like a smoker might crave niccotine. It's addicting. The words pull you back every time, just one more dance, one more song, one more rhyme, one more...

I wish I could share the magical feeling of dancing with words and rhymes with you, but I think it's something one has to experience for oneself.
Just picture in your minds eye... An exotic dance. Your partner? Your imagination.
Every time I open a document to write (poetry or stories), I get this tingling feeling in my fingers and excitement running down my spine. Every word that appears on the paper is a surprise, every word - a new idea born and every new idea is a fresh rush of excitement.

Anyone can write, everyone has the talent of writing... If you just let your fingers and the words create a life of their own, if you'll just listen to the rythm of that exotic dance you're having with your imagination, if you'll just feel the moves of the dance happening instead of doing them.

P.S. I know it's a lame post, but I had a lot of fun writing it

Confusion

 Nothing matters,
But everything does.
Spinning in circles,
Colors whizzing by.

Confusing thoughts,
Now up, now down,
Now somersaulting
Into oblivion.

Now happy, now sad
Now bitter tears and
Sweet laughter
Hold me close, now push me away.

Gently falling,
Sharply ascending
Now rain, now sunshine.
I know you, or do I?

A key in my hand,
But no door in sight,
Open the chest of memories
Behold! You never knew, did you?

Wistful sigh,
You can do no more
Than wonder about
That world passing you by.

Stories only you know,
Secrets locked away.
Please tell me, I want to know
The stories of long ago…

This chest has no key,
No desire to open.
Perhaps… One day,
You never know.

 © Tatiana Lasevičius